Of my single life, anyway. I still really can't believe all this is happening, that it's happening to me. It's my wedding, people keep asking me everything...like I'm in charge or something!!! I mean, I'm getting married tomorrow, people!
So anywho...this is officially my last post as a single girl, as my married life with my Prince Charming begins at 2pm CST tomorrow. Only there's no white horse...but I'll take a gold Jeep. ;)
I've been going all day today...started out the day by taking some of my out-of-town family to see our house, then they took Jacob and me out to lunch, then we went to the church and spent a little while setting up and directing, then I came home and got my cake, took it to the church, set up and directed some more, then more of my family came in to my (well, Mom and Dad's) house so Jacob and I came back here to the house to meet all of them (Jacob's only ever met one of my sets of grandparents before today) and we visited for a little while. Then we went back to the church, met the sound tech and learned all about the sound system, then the preacher got there so we started going over vows. Then my parents got there and we had full rehearsal. And we are both going to be nervous, that's for sure. I've kept my cool so far...been so busy worrying about everything, I hadn't even gotten nervous about the actual process. Well, lemme tell you what. Walking down that aisle to the bridal march, Daddy giving me away, taking Jacob's hands and pledging my life, love, and devotion to him....it hit me. I'm nervous now. We went through the vows enough, I really think we're married already... We just didn't sign the marriage license yet is all.
After all of that..running through everything about three times (and praying Jacob doesn't marry "Sheala Kay Custer" like he said earlier...and that I quit laughing...) we finished up there and went out to eat. Seeing that the only restaurant in town is the Mexican, everyone in town for our wedding was there as well, so it was one big party. Sort of.
Then we parted ways, but then Jacob and I and a bunch of other family ended up at Walmart, where someone mentioned that we should page Jacob (we all went separate and I hadn't seen him there yet) and my uncle was nice enough to do it for me, since I was embarrassed. He said "Will the groom-to-be, Jacob Ellis, please come to customer service?" It was sooo fun! And wouldn't you know...a few minutes later, here comes Jacob. :) He might have been a little miffed that I was just messing with him and didn't really need anything. I could've text him if I needed something though. :)
I'm still not nervous about what we're doing. I'm not nervous at all about getting married. It's my dream come true. I am, however, nervous about being up there in front of everyone, being the center of attention, and having to talk coherently then. That's something to worry about. I'm really not nervous at all about everything going just perfect...it doesn't really matter is everything goes exactly the way we planned. What matters is at the end of the day, we'll be Mr. and Mrs. and that's what's important. Jacob feels the same way, but he's also nervous about being up there. He's liable to just sweat away, if the rehearsal was any indication of how tomorrow will go!
Soooo, that's all folks. No more Kayla Custer. See y'all.
Friday, August 31, 2012
Thursday, August 30, 2012
Braggin' Rights
Yep. They're mine. Braggin' rights, that is.
Wouldn't you brag if you were 36 hours away from marrying a man who turned this
..into this?!
Wouldn't you brag if you were 36 hours away from marrying a man who turned this
Come on!!! Ain't he something???!!!
Pardon the boxes...I have stuff EVERYWHERE in the house! He moved over all his stuff...all like 6 small boxes. And I moved over 6 small CAR LOADS. Seriously!
I am just so excited right now! Everyone keeps asking if I'm nervous! Honestly, I'm nervous about getting the cake there and set up, but I'm not nervous at all about anything else! I am just insanely EXCITED!!!
Wednesday, August 22, 2012
Plans and More Plans!
I'm moving all my stuff into our house. Wow. I have too much stuff! I've already taken a couple car-loads out and I'll be taking another one or two this week. Most all of my stuff is all packed up...packed all my books this week and they're ready to be taken. I'm going to go through my clothes probably tomorrow, set aside outfits for the honeymoon, a few to wear over the next week, and then pack and move the rest. Only, I can just picture myself having to call Jacob this weekend and saying "honey, I'd really like to wear that yellow skirt with the blue flowers and it's in our closet...you think you can stop on your way over and bring it for me?" Yep. I can totally see that happening.
Yesterday we spent the afternoon in town. We went and got our marriage license, bought our wedding rings (!!!!!) and bought a bunch of stuff for our house...curtain rods, a shower curtain, a kitchen curtain...bunch of stuff along those lines. I had to go back to town today and I went and ordered my bouquet along with a few flowers for my cake (my bouquet will be close to this, just coral roses) and bought a couple more things for the house.
Jacob bought me the prettiest wedding ring...they had a plan silver band, a plain white gold band, and then this pretty little thing with diamonds in it, one that looks a whole lot like it matches my engagement ring. It was also the most expensive of the three we looked at. Guess which one he bought me. :) He's so saaahhhweeeet to me. I tried the cheaper ones on, but I kept looking over at that sparkly diamond one. He said "you want to try that other one...you do, don't you?" and I kinda made a funny face and said "naaaahhh it's a lot more money" so he said "Excuse me, ma'am...she'd like to try that one there on." So I did, and I loved it, but it was...oh, twice the money. I tried them all, and he said he liked the diamond one too, and he could tell I loved it, so that's what he got me. We both wanted to wear them now. :D His is a titanium band...it looks nice....just not as sparkly and shiny as mine. But I guess you could probably guess that that doesn't bother him too much. :) Last night we both kept putting them on and looking at them, then at each other and smiling a little gushy and ridiculous, I'd say...if you could have seen us!
We are soooo excited. Yesterday he was lamenting the fact that this weekend, our original wedding day, didn't work out. But it's just one more week now...10 days, actually.
By the way, I really don't think it's a good sign when I listen to my wedding music playlist and my throat feels funny and I tear up... Yikes. This could be scary.
I went on Amazon and found music I liked and made a playlist with that, as well as music from a few CDs we have already. I found a bridal march I ADORE, from Amazon, and built everything around that. I'm going to burn a CD with my playlist and then play it over the church sound system. That should work pretty well, I think. I've spent a few weeks working on it now...the other day I listened to half a dozen classical CDs trying to pinpoint songs I liked best. By the way, did you know that if you look up "wedding march" on Amazon's MP3 section, there are thousands of choices? And you have to pick the right one for you. It's HARD! Nope, this one's too Spanish-sounding, this one's too orchestral and high-highfalutin, this one's too casual and country...etc, etc. That part got old. One day I was sitting on my bed with my computer, listening to song after song (I think this was when I was picking the bridal march) and Dad came by for the 17th time or so, and he said "Oh! I have an idea!!!" Mom and I looked at him like "oookkkaaay...what?" He said "Let's listen to more wedding songs!!!" Very funny.
But, I finally have my playlist done. Now to burn it...
Yesterday we spent the afternoon in town. We went and got our marriage license, bought our wedding rings (!!!!!) and bought a bunch of stuff for our house...curtain rods, a shower curtain, a kitchen curtain...bunch of stuff along those lines. I had to go back to town today and I went and ordered my bouquet along with a few flowers for my cake (my bouquet will be close to this, just coral roses) and bought a couple more things for the house.
Jacob bought me the prettiest wedding ring...they had a plan silver band, a plain white gold band, and then this pretty little thing with diamonds in it, one that looks a whole lot like it matches my engagement ring. It was also the most expensive of the three we looked at. Guess which one he bought me. :) He's so saaahhhweeeet to me. I tried the cheaper ones on, but I kept looking over at that sparkly diamond one. He said "you want to try that other one...you do, don't you?" and I kinda made a funny face and said "naaaahhh it's a lot more money" so he said "Excuse me, ma'am...she'd like to try that one there on." So I did, and I loved it, but it was...oh, twice the money. I tried them all, and he said he liked the diamond one too, and he could tell I loved it, so that's what he got me. We both wanted to wear them now. :D His is a titanium band...it looks nice....just not as sparkly and shiny as mine. But I guess you could probably guess that that doesn't bother him too much. :) Last night we both kept putting them on and looking at them, then at each other and smiling a little gushy and ridiculous, I'd say...if you could have seen us!
We are soooo excited. Yesterday he was lamenting the fact that this weekend, our original wedding day, didn't work out. But it's just one more week now...10 days, actually.
By the way, I really don't think it's a good sign when I listen to my wedding music playlist and my throat feels funny and I tear up... Yikes. This could be scary.
I went on Amazon and found music I liked and made a playlist with that, as well as music from a few CDs we have already. I found a bridal march I ADORE, from Amazon, and built everything around that. I'm going to burn a CD with my playlist and then play it over the church sound system. That should work pretty well, I think. I've spent a few weeks working on it now...the other day I listened to half a dozen classical CDs trying to pinpoint songs I liked best. By the way, did you know that if you look up "wedding march" on Amazon's MP3 section, there are thousands of choices? And you have to pick the right one for you. It's HARD! Nope, this one's too Spanish-sounding, this one's too orchestral and high-highfalutin, this one's too casual and country...etc, etc. That part got old. One day I was sitting on my bed with my computer, listening to song after song (I think this was when I was picking the bridal march) and Dad came by for the 17th time or so, and he said "Oh! I have an idea!!!" Mom and I looked at him like "oookkkaaay...what?" He said "Let's listen to more wedding songs!!!" Very funny.
But, I finally have my playlist done. Now to burn it...
Monday, August 13, 2012
Wedding Showers, etc...
Whew. Things are coming along wonderfully and everything's happening fast now. :)
Jacob's mom had a wedding shower for us yesterday (Sunday afternoon) and it was embarrassing. :) It's been really something getting used to how big Jacob's family is...get-togethers just aren't small, that's for sure! Couple that with the fact that I am NOT comfortable at all being the center (or even half the center) of attention...and yikes! Thankfully, all we had to do was eat and open gifts...no games or anything like that. Whew. :) There were probably over 100 people there yesterday...
Dave got a few pictures for me. Poor Jacob got stung by a wasp Friday (he jinxed himself...when he was over Thursday he said something about his luck, he'd get stung the day before the wedding) and his eye was still a little swollen. He'd been wearing sunglasses all day Saturday (I spent Saturday evening at our and their house) and he had them on when I got there early on Sunday. I whined a bit (oops) and he took them off for me, while we opened presents. He's so sweet.
Here are a few pictures...
Our own family Bible...
I hate that this picture turned out fuzzy, so you can't really tell what this is, but it's a cutting board made by Jacob's uncle Robert. I've wanted one of these forever!
Reading cards together...
Oh, for those of you who haven't seen, these are our invitations...I love them!
The house is ready to start moving stuff now. The linoleum is in (and so pretty!) and the cabinets will be put in this week, I believe.
There's only two weeks and five days left now, so I'm going to start packing up my stuff and moving it out. I may be able to take a load out tomorrow when I go...we're going to spend tomorrow afternoon/evening moving all the gifts over to the house. I've got to pack up my stuff and start getting all of it over there now as well. Jacob said that he was going to be moving his stuff over soon too...he may end up moving there for good a few days prior to the wedding. We're going to be using his bed, so it needs to be over there before we move in, obviously! We're going to shoot for having everything moved beforehand so when we get back from the honeymoon everything's in order. Sounds like a good plan.
I've had a lot of people ask me what we need, and my answer has been "everything!" I suggested gift cards to some, but I know that's a little impersonal and all, to some people. So, this morning (I wanted to wait until after our shower) I went online to Bed, Bath, and Beyond and made a registry if anyone was interested in that. I never liked that idea, simply because it sounds like "here's what I want...buy me something!" BUT if people were planning on getting something anyway, I suppose it would be helpful to know what we want/need. You can find our registry by searching my name (Kayla Custer.) I believe we're also going to have another shower in a couple weeks, put on by a church we've been attending. People have been so sweet!
I've become slightly more overwhelmed thinking about furnishing everything for a house. Right now I am so used to having every kitchen tool I need at my fingertips...Mom's kitchen is well stocked with anything we need. It's become that way over 24 years (as of today...Happy Anniversary to Mom and Dad!) of marriage, but it's what I've become accustomed to. So, it's a bit daunting to think about outfitting a kitchen from scratch! Same way with food...just common spices! I just know I'll be cooking something one day and freak out because I don't have cinnamon or worse yet, vanilla! This is where I insert a deep breath...
Now, Mom and Dad took of for Nashville for a couple days to celebrate their anniversary, so I'm homemaker and babysitter here for a few days. All the laundry needs to be done, the house needs a thorough cleaning, the green beans need picking and canning, the jalapenos need pickling, I need to finish a sewing project, and I'm starting to pack...all in 3 days' time. Translated, that means I really need to get off here and get busy!!!
See y'all!
Jacob's mom had a wedding shower for us yesterday (Sunday afternoon) and it was embarrassing. :) It's been really something getting used to how big Jacob's family is...get-togethers just aren't small, that's for sure! Couple that with the fact that I am NOT comfortable at all being the center (or even half the center) of attention...and yikes! Thankfully, all we had to do was eat and open gifts...no games or anything like that. Whew. :) There were probably over 100 people there yesterday...
Dave got a few pictures for me. Poor Jacob got stung by a wasp Friday (he jinxed himself...when he was over Thursday he said something about his luck, he'd get stung the day before the wedding) and his eye was still a little swollen. He'd been wearing sunglasses all day Saturday (I spent Saturday evening at our and their house) and he had them on when I got there early on Sunday. I whined a bit (oops) and he took them off for me, while we opened presents. He's so sweet.
Here are a few pictures...
The house is ready to start moving stuff now. The linoleum is in (and so pretty!) and the cabinets will be put in this week, I believe.
There's only two weeks and five days left now, so I'm going to start packing up my stuff and moving it out. I may be able to take a load out tomorrow when I go...we're going to spend tomorrow afternoon/evening moving all the gifts over to the house. I've got to pack up my stuff and start getting all of it over there now as well. Jacob said that he was going to be moving his stuff over soon too...he may end up moving there for good a few days prior to the wedding. We're going to be using his bed, so it needs to be over there before we move in, obviously! We're going to shoot for having everything moved beforehand so when we get back from the honeymoon everything's in order. Sounds like a good plan.
I've had a lot of people ask me what we need, and my answer has been "everything!" I suggested gift cards to some, but I know that's a little impersonal and all, to some people. So, this morning (I wanted to wait until after our shower) I went online to Bed, Bath, and Beyond and made a registry if anyone was interested in that. I never liked that idea, simply because it sounds like "here's what I want...buy me something!" BUT if people were planning on getting something anyway, I suppose it would be helpful to know what we want/need. You can find our registry by searching my name (Kayla Custer.) I believe we're also going to have another shower in a couple weeks, put on by a church we've been attending. People have been so sweet!
I've become slightly more overwhelmed thinking about furnishing everything for a house. Right now I am so used to having every kitchen tool I need at my fingertips...Mom's kitchen is well stocked with anything we need. It's become that way over 24 years (as of today...Happy Anniversary to Mom and Dad!) of marriage, but it's what I've become accustomed to. So, it's a bit daunting to think about outfitting a kitchen from scratch! Same way with food...just common spices! I just know I'll be cooking something one day and freak out because I don't have cinnamon or worse yet, vanilla! This is where I insert a deep breath...
Now, Mom and Dad took of for Nashville for a couple days to celebrate their anniversary, so I'm homemaker and babysitter here for a few days. All the laundry needs to be done, the house needs a thorough cleaning, the green beans need picking and canning, the jalapenos need pickling, I need to finish a sewing project, and I'm starting to pack...all in 3 days' time. Translated, that means I really need to get off here and get busy!!!
See y'all!
Thursday, August 9, 2012
Why Me?
You ever have something bad happen to you and all you can think is "why me? What did I do to deserve this?"
Well, I've been having thoughts like this a lot lately, but coming from a completely different direction. I am so happy...so insanely happy...what did I do to deserve this?
Nothing. Nada. I didn't do the first thing to deserve anything I have today. A man who loves me with all his heart and who cares for me and takes care of me with all that he is. A man who will do anything to surprise me and make me happy, yet who will tell me when I need to change something...because he loves me. A family who loves the man I will be marrying in 3 weeks. A family who loves me and has seen me through soooo much. A future family who knows more about me than most people do, and still joyfully welcome me into their family and love me. A soon to be mother in law who is so great to me, someone I can talk to about anything. Four great new sisters that I'm getting out of this...(oh, and four new brothers too)
See, a lot of people...I'd say most people, in fact, might think I've always been the perfect, model daughter. Well, big ol' news flash...I haven't. On the outside maybe it looks like I've always been great, but my immediate family and a very few close praying friends know things that I've done and been through that would surprise anyone. I've done some stuff that I am certainly not proud of and stuff I wish with all of my heart that I could take back...but I can't. Oh, I'm pure alright, physically...and for that I can't tell you how thankful I am. My mistakes were all built up with my imagination, a couple flings online or on the phone...talking to people I knew I shouldn't talk to...becoming close to people I knew I shouldn't be close to...
See that's the real stinger with stuff you do. You just can't take it back. If there's anyone out there reading this right now doing something you know deep down that isn't right, you better stop now. You really have no idea how much pain it could cause. No idea. I know I sure didn't know how much it would hurt me later on. I'm not saying all this to bring up junk I did before...I'm saying all this as a warning...maybe my mistakes will help someone else avoid the same or similar mistakes. That's all I could hope for. I'm purposefully not giving a lot of detail here...there's no reason for that...I've finally been able to put it all behind me and I never want to think about the past again. But for the sake of this post, I'll say as much as needs to be said.
Between the ages of 19 and 21 I put myself through a couple very hard things...I put my family through a lot of unnecessary heartache, but by the grace of God and lots of praying friends (most of whom never really knew what was going on...just that I was having issues) I stayed straight and stayed home. I know I'd never be here at home writing this, three weeks before my glorious wedding, had it not been for everyone praying for me and trying to talk sense into my stubborn head. I finally got right and straightened out, my relationship with my family healed, and I was truly happy here. Even though I didn't see any guys hanging around (which a lot of my problems stemmed from....a strong desire to be a wife and mother, at any cost) I was content and happy with my family. I mean, I'd been happy before, but this was different. I poured myself into leather and sewing and cooking...into the things I loved to do. I won't say I forgot about my desires to get married, but I tried to keep busy with other stuff.
Several months into my journey, I met (or re-met, I guess) Jacob. As time went on, and we got more serious, I was scared to tell him everything about me. I was scared to death that what I'd done before would make me undesirable to him...that he'd leave and find someone who hadn't done the things I'd done...a truly "good" girl. I knew I needed to talk to him...it ate at me. Somehow I'd always make excuses...we were having the perfect evening together...I wasn't going to ruin it by bringing up all that! But really, it was because I loved him so much and I was terrified of losing him...of driving him away.
One night, in late May or early June (can't remember exactly when) Jacob's mom called my mom. They talked for a looong time and I didn't think too much of it. When Mom got off the phone, she told me his mom wanted to know everything about anything I'd ever done...she said Jacob was very serious about this and wanted to know if Jacob knew everything there was to know about me. I had told him before that I'd done some bad stuff before, but never what exactly. She just wanted to make sure Jacob wasn't tricked into something..she was trying to protect him.
That was the hardest night of my life. I called Jacob that night and told him I needed to talk to him and tell him everything. He listened quietly while I sobbed on the phone with him and told him everything he needed to know about me. He didn't say much, and his family was calling him in, so I no sooner got everything out and said than he had to go. He was really quiet that night...didn't say much of anything on the phone at all, and just said "good night" when he went to bed. I was terrified. The next two or three days were pure misery. He just wasn't saying much at all. My parents met with his parents to talk (Mom said Dad wanted to get together with them and tell them how wonderful I was...I still don't know what all went on there) and Jacob just wasn't talking hardly at all.
After a couple days of all that, lots of talking between everyone, lots of crying, not much eating, and just plain heartbreak...Jacob told me that he freely forgave me of everything I'd done...that we all make mistakes. It was then that I started grasping how truly blessed I have been. I still can't comprehend it. What I had done before could have very well cost me (and understandably so) the one thing I valued most in this world...Jacob's love for me...and yet he forgave me and was willing to put everything behind us and move on from there.
It was a few weeks later, June 27th, when Jacob proposed to me...he told me that he bought the ring the very day I called him and told him everything. His mom knew about the ring, and that's why she was wanting to make sure everyone knew everything there was to know.
The one thing you never think about when you're in the middle of whatever it is you'll later regret, is how you'll feel the night you have to tell the man you love more than anything, how you didn't always save every last piece of your heart for him. It was excruciating in the most extreme way.
So that's why I say "why me" every time I address another invitation, or get another "I love you" text for no reason. Why I want to cry happy tears every time I see how my man is fixing up our house just for me. When I see the adoration in his eyes when he surprises me with something new he's done for me. When he teases me about eating so "dadgone" slow! When I'm leaning on the counter in the kitchen and he's just staring at me, so I say "what is it?" and he smiles and says "I'm just looking at you." :)
See, I'm planning my dream future right now. I'm marrying the man that far exceeds my greatest dreams in three weeks. Three weeks. And I don't deserve a single second of this happiness I'm immersed in.
Why me?
Well, I've been having thoughts like this a lot lately, but coming from a completely different direction. I am so happy...so insanely happy...what did I do to deserve this?
Nothing. Nada. I didn't do the first thing to deserve anything I have today. A man who loves me with all his heart and who cares for me and takes care of me with all that he is. A man who will do anything to surprise me and make me happy, yet who will tell me when I need to change something...because he loves me. A family who loves the man I will be marrying in 3 weeks. A family who loves me and has seen me through soooo much. A future family who knows more about me than most people do, and still joyfully welcome me into their family and love me. A soon to be mother in law who is so great to me, someone I can talk to about anything. Four great new sisters that I'm getting out of this...(oh, and four new brothers too)
See, a lot of people...I'd say most people, in fact, might think I've always been the perfect, model daughter. Well, big ol' news flash...I haven't. On the outside maybe it looks like I've always been great, but my immediate family and a very few close praying friends know things that I've done and been through that would surprise anyone. I've done some stuff that I am certainly not proud of and stuff I wish with all of my heart that I could take back...but I can't. Oh, I'm pure alright, physically...and for that I can't tell you how thankful I am. My mistakes were all built up with my imagination, a couple flings online or on the phone...talking to people I knew I shouldn't talk to...becoming close to people I knew I shouldn't be close to...
See that's the real stinger with stuff you do. You just can't take it back. If there's anyone out there reading this right now doing something you know deep down that isn't right, you better stop now. You really have no idea how much pain it could cause. No idea. I know I sure didn't know how much it would hurt me later on. I'm not saying all this to bring up junk I did before...I'm saying all this as a warning...maybe my mistakes will help someone else avoid the same or similar mistakes. That's all I could hope for. I'm purposefully not giving a lot of detail here...there's no reason for that...I've finally been able to put it all behind me and I never want to think about the past again. But for the sake of this post, I'll say as much as needs to be said.
Between the ages of 19 and 21 I put myself through a couple very hard things...I put my family through a lot of unnecessary heartache, but by the grace of God and lots of praying friends (most of whom never really knew what was going on...just that I was having issues) I stayed straight and stayed home. I know I'd never be here at home writing this, three weeks before my glorious wedding, had it not been for everyone praying for me and trying to talk sense into my stubborn head. I finally got right and straightened out, my relationship with my family healed, and I was truly happy here. Even though I didn't see any guys hanging around (which a lot of my problems stemmed from....a strong desire to be a wife and mother, at any cost) I was content and happy with my family. I mean, I'd been happy before, but this was different. I poured myself into leather and sewing and cooking...into the things I loved to do. I won't say I forgot about my desires to get married, but I tried to keep busy with other stuff.
Several months into my journey, I met (or re-met, I guess) Jacob. As time went on, and we got more serious, I was scared to tell him everything about me. I was scared to death that what I'd done before would make me undesirable to him...that he'd leave and find someone who hadn't done the things I'd done...a truly "good" girl. I knew I needed to talk to him...it ate at me. Somehow I'd always make excuses...we were having the perfect evening together...I wasn't going to ruin it by bringing up all that! But really, it was because I loved him so much and I was terrified of losing him...of driving him away.
One night, in late May or early June (can't remember exactly when) Jacob's mom called my mom. They talked for a looong time and I didn't think too much of it. When Mom got off the phone, she told me his mom wanted to know everything about anything I'd ever done...she said Jacob was very serious about this and wanted to know if Jacob knew everything there was to know about me. I had told him before that I'd done some bad stuff before, but never what exactly. She just wanted to make sure Jacob wasn't tricked into something..she was trying to protect him.
That was the hardest night of my life. I called Jacob that night and told him I needed to talk to him and tell him everything. He listened quietly while I sobbed on the phone with him and told him everything he needed to know about me. He didn't say much, and his family was calling him in, so I no sooner got everything out and said than he had to go. He was really quiet that night...didn't say much of anything on the phone at all, and just said "good night" when he went to bed. I was terrified. The next two or three days were pure misery. He just wasn't saying much at all. My parents met with his parents to talk (Mom said Dad wanted to get together with them and tell them how wonderful I was...I still don't know what all went on there) and Jacob just wasn't talking hardly at all.
After a couple days of all that, lots of talking between everyone, lots of crying, not much eating, and just plain heartbreak...Jacob told me that he freely forgave me of everything I'd done...that we all make mistakes. It was then that I started grasping how truly blessed I have been. I still can't comprehend it. What I had done before could have very well cost me (and understandably so) the one thing I valued most in this world...Jacob's love for me...and yet he forgave me and was willing to put everything behind us and move on from there.
It was a few weeks later, June 27th, when Jacob proposed to me...he told me that he bought the ring the very day I called him and told him everything. His mom knew about the ring, and that's why she was wanting to make sure everyone knew everything there was to know.
The one thing you never think about when you're in the middle of whatever it is you'll later regret, is how you'll feel the night you have to tell the man you love more than anything, how you didn't always save every last piece of your heart for him. It was excruciating in the most extreme way.
So that's why I say "why me" every time I address another invitation, or get another "I love you" text for no reason. Why I want to cry happy tears every time I see how my man is fixing up our house just for me. When I see the adoration in his eyes when he surprises me with something new he's done for me. When he teases me about eating so "dadgone" slow! When I'm leaning on the counter in the kitchen and he's just staring at me, so I say "what is it?" and he smiles and says "I'm just looking at you." :)
See, I'm planning my dream future right now. I'm marrying the man that far exceeds my greatest dreams in three weeks. Three weeks. And I don't deserve a single second of this happiness I'm immersed in.
Why me?
Sunday, August 5, 2012
Our House!
So, if you've been reading for long, you know that Jacob bought a house in February. I will never forget the day that he bought it...it was a Saturday and he was due to come for a visit. You can read the story here. That night after he left, he texted me and said "Lord willing, it will be our house." I'll never forget that either...would you?!
Our house needed a lot of work. Like, seriously, a lot. I've held off with the pictures so far, honestly because it looked rough, and while Jacob and I (as well as our immediate family, who are all thrilled for this opportunity for us) could see what it would become, we knew it might be hard for some people to see what we saw. :) We're both very fixer-minded and have grown up with that mentality....buy something that needs work for a lot less than normal, fix it up, and end up with something better than you could afford. This is just another thing that I am so very thankful for in Jacob. He can do anything and will do anything. (Just get used to the bragging, k? It's my privilege and joy and will be abundant!)
Jacob has been working on the house ever since February but in the last couple months you can really see the results. I mean, we could see the results before, but it was stuff like floor joists that would be covered up. :) I don't have pictures from as soon as he bought the house, but I do have some after he'd done a little work. The folks that lived there before...well, it was rough. The first little bit of sheetrock had been wet and was rotten in parts of the house, the floors joists had to be cut out and replaced..all that sort of stuff. Here are some starter pictures...
This is our house from the road...
This is our living room...looking in from the front door. The master bedroom is the door you can see on the right... This is after the rotten joists have been cut out and replaced, before the sheetrock was put in.
This is looking from the front door into the kitchen. The bathroom is the door you can see on the right. You can see part of the subflooring he'd put in at this point. The kitchen sink had leaked hence the yucky sheetrock in the kitchen. We saved the top cabinets but had to tear out the bottom ones.
This is looking towards the living room from the kitchen area. The rooms on the far wall are the master bedroom, on the left, and the spare bedroom on the right. That's the front door that's open...
Another view of the kitchen...this one's better...
This is looking into the bathroom, but you can't see much...the toilet is on the left and the shower is on the right..
And this is looking the opposite direction, out towards the kitchen. The washer and dryer goes on the right...and the sink is on the left.
Alrighty, now fast forward a few weeks! In this next set of pictures, all the subflooring is in and the new sheetrock is in.
Looking into the living room...
Looking into the kitchen from the living room...
This is wall the bathroom is on...the other room is a small room that used to be a bedroom. (that story to come in a minute!)
Looking towards the front door...
Now....fast forward a few more weeks! A couple weeks ago now, it was a Monday and I was on the phone with Jacob. I asked him what he'd done that day and he said "oh, just piddled around with stuff here and there..." and I just said ok. Well, Tuesday when I went out to their house, he took me over to our house so we could do some cleaning, and I think I hollered when he opened the door! His "piddling" was spending about 11 hours painting the whole kitchen and living room! He LOVES to surprise me like that and it is incredible! It looked AMAZING and I was SO excited! Over the next week or so, we had picked all the colors and he'd painted the whole house.
That day when I was over there cleaning, a couple cousins stopped in at different times. Once, one of them asked what the little room was going to be (the one on the same wall as the bathroom, in the kitchen area) and I hollered in there and said I was wanting a craft room! They laughed and kept on talking. That cousin left and a little while later another one stopped in. He also asked Jacob about that room, and I heard Jacob say "oh, that's her sewing room!"
Awwww. :)
He put down flooring sheets as a relatively temporary floor, until we put hardwood down later on. Then he stained the floor in the living room...we'll be putting linoleum in the kitchen this week. All of the other rooms have a good floor that didn't need replacing.
So, here's looking into the living room from the front door...(there were spots on my camera lens!)
From the back of the living room looking at the front door...
The kitchen area...
(We do have a washer, dryer, and stove now...as of last week!!!)
This is the bathroom...pretty light blue!
Laundry...
Cleaning supplies on the bathroom counter :)
This is my sewing room! It's turquoise!
The master bedroom....a gorgeous light green! Jacob and I separately said we though light green would nice. :) That happens a lot!
Looking into the kitchen...the linoleum will go where the floor isn't stained.
Alright, that's it so far! We'll get the linoleum this week, new doorjambs in, baseboards in, new switchplate covers, all that sort of stuff! It's so exciting!
I LOVE when Jacob provides for me. The feeling coming from this is so amazing...the excitement in his voice when he shows me something he's done in our house...it's wonderful! :D
Our house needed a lot of work. Like, seriously, a lot. I've held off with the pictures so far, honestly because it looked rough, and while Jacob and I (as well as our immediate family, who are all thrilled for this opportunity for us) could see what it would become, we knew it might be hard for some people to see what we saw. :) We're both very fixer-minded and have grown up with that mentality....buy something that needs work for a lot less than normal, fix it up, and end up with something better than you could afford. This is just another thing that I am so very thankful for in Jacob. He can do anything and will do anything. (Just get used to the bragging, k? It's my privilege and joy and will be abundant!)
Jacob has been working on the house ever since February but in the last couple months you can really see the results. I mean, we could see the results before, but it was stuff like floor joists that would be covered up. :) I don't have pictures from as soon as he bought the house, but I do have some after he'd done a little work. The folks that lived there before...well, it was rough. The first little bit of sheetrock had been wet and was rotten in parts of the house, the floors joists had to be cut out and replaced..all that sort of stuff. Here are some starter pictures...
This is our house from the road...
Looking into the living room...
That day when I was over there cleaning, a couple cousins stopped in at different times. Once, one of them asked what the little room was going to be (the one on the same wall as the bathroom, in the kitchen area) and I hollered in there and said I was wanting a craft room! They laughed and kept on talking. That cousin left and a little while later another one stopped in. He also asked Jacob about that room, and I heard Jacob say "oh, that's her sewing room!"
Awwww. :)
He put down flooring sheets as a relatively temporary floor, until we put hardwood down later on. Then he stained the floor in the living room...we'll be putting linoleum in the kitchen this week. All of the other rooms have a good floor that didn't need replacing.
So, here's looking into the living room from the front door...(there were spots on my camera lens!)
This is the bathroom...pretty light blue!
I LOVE when Jacob provides for me. The feeling coming from this is so amazing...the excitement in his voice when he shows me something he's done in our house...it's wonderful! :D
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