I think I already mentioned that I have a good block of time to myself in the mornings, after Jacob leaves at 5:30. The kids don't usually get up til at least 9. I like to if my hair and put on a dab of makeup and do my nails sometimes...it makes me feel a little more put together and presentable. As a mom I think we could all use a little time to ourselves to feel like we still matter, outside of being mom...if that makes any sense.
So this is what I did this morning...it makes me smile. :)
Btw, I don't totally blow *all* my time on vanity, either. ;) In my opinion, spending a little time on me helps me feel nice the rest of the day.
For the first couple of months after Chloe was born, we had a pretty rough time of it. Starting at a few week old, Chloe would stay up at night and cry. Most of the time I didn't go to sleep until 2 am. I would just stay up and rock her. There was one time she and I didn't go to sleep until 5 am. Couple that with the fact that Aaron just doesn't like to take naps and I was completely exhausted. The sleep deprivation, along with adjusting to two kids under two (actually under 14 months!) made for a very tired mama....not to mention the emotional draw of not being able to soothe your crying baby! At the time, Aaron was still nursing to go to sleep, so more than once (ok, nearly every night...) Chloe would be crying on one side of me in the bed and Aaron would be fussing on the other side and I'd just lay in the middle and cry. This is NOT how I pictured tandem nursing! I always liked the idea of cuddling up with the kids in bed...but that's just different when you're a few weeks postpartum and you've got a toddler in between you and hubby and you can't get the baby to sleep so you have to get up and rock her but you have to nurse the older one to sleep first...and hubby feels frustrated and helpless because he wants to help but he can't. Life just isn't always how we picture it! Don't get me wrong...I love my life and I finally worked the kinks out (well, some of them...) but it's doggone hard sometimes!
I really said all that to say...it passes. Chloe now sleeps very well. Last night she slept from about 10 to 7:30 without waking up once. It probably helps that she REALLY likes her thumb now. Every night I'd be rocking her and I'd be crying half the time because I couldn't figure out how to make her happy (sleep deprivation makes you crazy) and I just wanted to be curled up next to my husband sleeping...but even if I was in bed with him I wouldn't be next to him because I couldn't figure out how to get Aaron to sleep alone (still working on that one)...but then I'd try to think about it in the grand scheme of things. I have two healthy babies. I know people who would give ANYTHING to be up at 2am rocking a crying baby. And then I felt horrible for even being frustrated at all.
We got throught that, but every season of life has struggles, I'm coming to find. Right now, Jacob is gone about 60 hours a week working. That's a lot of time apart. Like I said earlier, I still have trouble getting Aaron to sleep on his own and there are many times I get so frustrated. But then, he's not going to be this little forever and one day he'd rather die than curl up next to me and scoot even closer in his sleep. Every morning I wake up at 5am with Chloe right up next to me on one side, and Aaron right up next to my other side. I ease out of bed so I don't wake anybody up and Jacob and I cuddle on the couch with a cup of coffee before he leaves. Jacob leaves at 5:30 and most of the time the kids don't get up until at least 9, so I have a large block of time to myself in the mornings.
My dad asked me a couple weeks ago how hard it was, having two this close together. Actually, I've got this. It's not really that hard for me at all. I think it will be harder once Chloe gets a little bigger. She's really a great baby, very happy most of the time. She sure loves Aaron...she just watches him and laughs. Aaron kisses her all the time and tries to share his toys with her. He doesn't really understand why she doesn't want them! I can shop with both of them easily...thanks to the Ergo carrier. That's a real life saver! So I don't have any trouble having two so little. My biggest stuggle right now is wanting more time with Jacob! But this is only temporary...
Btw, any tips for getting a 17 month old to sleep alone? I cut out the nursing completely now but the kid just will not sleep! We rock him and lay him down in his crib and he pops right back up. I can stand there until he goes to sleep and when I tiptoe out, he can hear the tiniest creak in the floor. I played music for him to cover the creaks and that helped for about a week. I guess creaks sound different than Mozart! The only way we can ever get him to sleep in his crib for even a little while is to get him to sleep in our bed and then wait until he's REALLY good and asleep and then try to move him carefully to his crib. Even then he only sleeps til 1 or 2 and the we have to put him in our bed to get him back to sleep. These days he's been staying in our bed because we all fall asleep soon after he does and Jacob doesn't want to have to wake up to get him in the middle of the night. We tried letting him cry and he will cry for as long as we leave him in there. It's horrible!
So, this was all totally random wasn't it? My thumbs are worn out now...lol! Finish up with a picture... We really need a family picture taken!
Here are few of my favoritest pictures of my favoritest people...
Aaron's 15 months now and Chloe's 6 weeks old today. Aaron really likes her a lot and tries to help if she cries...he'll kiss her or try to pick her up (yikes...good thing she's too heavy for him!) or give her toys (we're working on being gentle!) or standing over her imitating her hollering, or, if all else fails, just looking very confused! He's figuring out new stuff all the time and it's a lot of fun watching him learn new things.
I'm finding my own groove and the past week has been great...I guess I'm getting the hang of this now. I've been getting up two or three hours earlier than Aaron (he just sleeps really late most of the time now) and Chloe goes back to sleep soon after I get up, so I have some time alone. I've been able to keep my house really clean, laundry all caught up, supper always made, and I've still had time to do "fun" stuff that I like to do...read or knit or sew, mainly. So, I've never (ever, ever, EVER) been a fan of getting up early but it's growing on me. I feel better if I get more done too, so it makes me happy, which seems to make everyone else happy. You know, if mama ain't happy...lol!!
My garden is mostly done now, but I have a ton of peppers to pick, hopefully today. Our four okra plants went crazy and when we got sick of eating fried okra, I started battering and freezing it. I've never done that before so I hope it turns out ok. I have over three gallon size bags of it in the freezer now...and I'll have more soon! I'm wanting to plant some fall stuff soon...maybe next week sometime.
Gotta wrap this up and get busy...hope y'all enjoyed the pictures!
If you're not on Facebook you might have missed this so I figured if better blog a little blog. A baby blog. :) About a baby.
Monday morning, July 28th, our family of three became a family of four. Chloe Elaine Ellis was born just after 5am and weighed 8lb 5oz, 21 1/2 inches long.
Aaron doesn't really know what to think and he's been spending a lot of time with his aunts and uncles until I feel better.
Labor this time was harder in general...I had close intense contractions from about noon Sunday until she was born, but I only pushed for 9 minutes instead of 6 hours...a definite plus. I definitely need to go to the chiropractor because I had excruciating back and hip pain while in labor, pretty close to unbearable towards the end. It all gets hazy thinking back on everything (Jacob says his mom told me everything was ok and I said "NO it is NOT!" Oops) but I remember sweating because it hurt so bad.
Anyway, it over now and I feel like I am significantly less sore than last time. I didn't tear at all (gotta love not pushing there at the end! Gggrrr!) so that makes things better!
I think everyone is still in shock because she's a girl. Everyone keeps catching themselves referring to her as him! There hasn't been a girl on my side since I was a baby! I'm not sure I'll know what to do with a little girl! I have a feeling I'll figure it out though. :)
Aaron is 8 1/2 months old now and he's crawling around like crazy and getting into everything. He started pulling up a lot too. In general, he's just getting very big! He's a major mama's boy right now...we feel attached at the hip! There's worse things than having a cute little boy hanging onto you all the time though. :)
So here are a few recent-ish pictures.
And like I said, into everything!!!
Oh and here's my Valentine's Day gift from my man. 😄
If everything continues to go well, Aaron will be a big brother sometime around early August. I'm about 16 weeks pregnant...surprise! I feel much better this time around...I was only really sick one day a few weeks ago and I was sick nearly every day for the first trimester when I was pregnant with Aaron. I'm still nursing Aaron (although he does eat some of what we eat...anything and everything I give him, so far) so it feels like I'm starving all the time!
So anywho, there's a little update, and the big news. :)